“Love empowers us to live fully and die well. Death becomes, then, not an end to life but a part of living.”
― bell hooks, All About Love: New Visions
Let’s craft a ceremony together that, when you look back on it in years to come, you still feel good about it deep in your bones.
Whether a funeral, memorial, life transition or another significant ending, I want you to have a meaningful, unique ceremony that honours life in all its weirdness, wonder and complexity. A ceremony that can honour life’s realities; that will not gloss over the cracks but might, when appropriate, let the light shine through them.
I’m a fully qualified independent celebrant but, honestly, I don’t think that term does true justice to the role, nor the depths of what a funeral can really be – it’s not always just a ‘celebration of life’, though there might be facets of joy in what we build together.
Facing death and finding yourself with the responsibility of crafting a fitting ending for someone can feel tough and intimidating. When we work together I bring over 15 years of working in mental health services as a trainer, facilitator and coach. Over that time I have gathered many skills in working with people at challenging times in their lives and creating spaces to come together to express and share difficult times in warmth and safety.
I relish witnessing people gathering to share meaningful moments with one another. I value creativity, community and collaboration and will place these front and centre when we work together.
I also draw from a rich cauldron of influences that support and inform my work: local folklore and seasonal rites, UK free party and protest counter culture, community organising and resilience building.
What to expect when you work with me:
The process can be really organic and I’m happy to work in a way that feels most comfortable for you and your family. We’ll usually meet at a time and place that’s convenient for us both to discuss the ceremony and to start putting some plans together. I will be there to gently guide you through any decisions you need to make and support you by listening to your wishes for the ceremony; learning about whether your person had any particular requests or beliefs that you want to honour and inviting you to share with me more about them and their history so that we can start crafting a ceremony that truly reflects their spirit.
I am comfortable working alongside your chosen funeral director and I also have experience of working with families who choose to take a more DIY approach.
Once we’ve got a good idea of all the elements we want to weave together, I’ll write a draft script of the ceremony and then send it to you for your edits and additions if you would like me to. Equally, we might want to co-write it together. Once we have a draft, we can go back and forth a few times depending on how much time we have, until we get something that fits just right.
I’ll be there on the day to facilitate the ceremony. I can take the lead or step into the background – whichever is required at the time.
Fees and availability:
I’m available for funerals and memorials across Bristol and the South West. I am also really interested in supporting and facilitating ceremonies for other significant endings and transitions.
My fees are aligned with those set by Bristol local alternative funeral directors and start at £250 for a ceremony at a crematorium and £350 for an alternative venue. Travel expenses and additional fees for an extra location will be discussed if needed. Fees for ceremonies marking other endings can be discussed.
If this all sounds good to you, please drop me a line via the contact page or email hello(at)lottierandomly(dot)com and I’ll get back to you so we can arrange a time to chat.
There’s never any pressure to work with me by arranging a chat and I’d encourage you to speak to a few celebrants anyway before you make a decision about who to go with.
Want to find out a bit more about what people are saying about my ceremonies? Have a read below…
It’s taken me two days of weeping to be able to form the words to send you the most deeply heartfelt thanks for all the effort, care and love that you put into creating and then holding L’s INCREDIBLE ceremony. You got her just right which is a tall order as she was so MUCH, so layered, so unusual, so L!
You held the space so, so beautifully and played SUCH an invaluable role in helping us have such an EXTRAORDINARY celebration. It’s hard to express what a powerful day it was on so many levels. It’s one which will have changed us all in some way. To be rocked so deeply, to come together with such such rawness and such boldness. Thank you for doing this work so that people can do things ‘their’ way, gently held by a grounded soul. These things go beyond words, but thank you is all I have in language.
I want to thank you so much for the most beautiful tribute you gave at L’s funeral. I know I had seen it in advance but I still found it very moving. Your words around the graveside were also very special.
The combination of you and Divine Ceremony was perfect for L’s day and I know that everyone found it beautiful.
The work you do in helping people with their feelings around death is wonderful and I am very grateful for what you did on Friday.
Just a few lines to THANK YOU for the excellent and heartfelt effort you have given us for Laura… a large family contingent were on line for the service 12000 miles away here in Melbourne and messages are now flying to and from on line text now, and the service is getting applause again, thank you.
I have done about 40 commemorative services for close family and friends, and I’m well aware of how much goes into it both preparative and emotionally. Very many family thanks and very best wishes. Yes sending a big HUG…. sincerely REG
I highly recommend Lottie if you are looking for a sensitive and wise celebrant who is able to hold you through one of the most difficult times, while skilfully helping you to build a ceremony that perfectly suits your needs.
Thank you Lottie, you are an incredibly sensitive and skilled practitioner. You offered gentle support and guidance, helping my family to navigate this most difficult task, which resulted in the making of a beautifully co-created service that was perfectly fitting. Our family is very touched by the unique nature of the service, which was delivered with a very light touch but that left a very powerful impression on us all. Your words were wisely chosen and the beautiful, magical energy that was woven that day will stay with us forever. We couldn’t have asked for any more.
Lottie was incredible. From our first call, they delved straight into organising and worked well with the undertakers and crematorium to create a ceremony that was right for us.
Thank you Lottie, you worked closely with myself and family to tailor a ceremony which was perfect for my beloved, late grandma, she would have loved you!
Your caring demeanor and sensitivity made me feel held at this difficult time.
Ariel Coad